It was two weeks before Christmas when my son decided to
walk out of our front door with no intention of returning. I knew I had
every reason in the world to be hurt, angry, disappointed, shocked, sad, and
frustrated ~ and I was. I even felt
gypped. And, I’m not going to lie, I spent a lot of time feeling all of
these emotions until I realized how exhausted I was, even how bitter I
was becoming, and how out of control I felt.
Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!
Even though the situation was out of my control, I realized
I had also handed control of my own well-being over to someone who I believed
wasn’t making very good choices. That was when I knew there had to be a
better way for me to show up in this situation.
Yes, this whole situation wasn’t fair, but being enraged
with my son only made me feel angry and feeling resentment only made me
bitter. So I decided to figure out how I wanted to feel, what kind of mom
I wanted to be, even in this awful situation.
I decided I wanted to feel love.
Since I know thoughts and feelings are connected, I knew I’d
have to stop telling myself he was a selfish brat. Whether or not it was
true (and I certainly had a lot of evidence that it was), thinking about him
this way only made me frustrated. And I wanted to feel love. So I
decided to think this instead: This is his journey and I can love him and
pray for him.
What a difference that thought was for me! It did
help me feel love and compassion, which allowed me to (mostly) behave in a way
I wouldn’t have to cringe about later.
How do you want to feel about your own son?
What would you have to believe to feel that way?
Figuring this out for yourself will immediately change your
relationship with your son even if nothing about him or the situation
changes. I’m living proof it is true.
