I sat at the kitchen table, looking at my son, wondering if
I had heard him correctly. Did he really
just say he wasn’t going to serve a mission?
Time seemed to stand still, yet a million thoughts flooded
my mind. How could this be? We had talked about missions, saved for
missions, he knew the gospel, his brother was across the world serving a
mission, and yet here I was listening to my son speak the words I somehow knew
were coming.
But even though the spirit had whispered to my heart this
was coming, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t
ready for the flood of thoughts that poured into my heart and soul when the
words were actually spoken out loud, “Mom, I’m not going to serve a
mission.” Thoughts like, “Where did I go
wrong?” and “I’m not so sure about this ‘agency’ thing” and “What does this
mean for his spiritual future?” and “I wonder how other people will treat him
when they find out” and “This confirms what I’ve long suspected ~ I really am a
failure as a mom.”
No comments:
Post a Comment