The unexpected consequence

(DISCLAIMER:  I am not a doctor nor do I have any medical training; what I’m about to share with you is simply my own experience, not medical advice.)

I have spent a majority of my life suffering from headaches, all kinds of headaches, everything from dull, lingering ones to full-blown migraines.  I used to think a majority of my headaches came from my wisdom teeth, but, alas, my headaches persisted even after they were taken out.  And for 20 more years.

Over the last year, as I’ve learned to become more in tune with myself (instead of mostly taking care of everyone else), as I’ve become more aware of what it is I’m feeling (yes, even me, a self-proclaimed non-feeler!), and as I’ve determined to be more proactive in living the life I want to live ~ the frequency and intensity of my headaches have greatly decreased.

But, wait!  I would never even classify myself as a “worrier” (I’m more of the “Let’s just deal with what we can deal with” kind of gal).  I’m much more logical than emotional.  In fact, I will even admit that until recently I didn’t see much use for emotions.  They always seemed (to me) to get in the way.

I’ve always believed the cause of my headaches was stress, hormones, and dehydration.  But if that’s true then how in the world can it be that during the most stressful year of my life I’ve actually been more headache-free than I ever even imagined was possible?!?  To be honest, dehydration can still spur on a headache for me and I sometimes get a dull headache around my special time of the month but neither are as intense or debilitating as they were for 20+ years.

Learning to manage my mind, even in the midst of heart-wrenching experiences, has made all the difference.  Yes, I have experienced numbness, anger, hurt, fear, and despair (and, to be fair, I’ve also lived with hope, love, peace, and joy).  Managing my mind doesn’t make it so nothing bad ever happens; it just allows me to show up in my life (the good, the bad, and the ugly parts) the way I want to be.  Oh, yeah, and with a lot less headaches.

Are you ready to be done with your own headaches (or however stress manifests itself in YOU)?  Let’s chat about what’s going on for you over a free mini-session.  I’ll show you how to start loosening your own tension.  There’s nothing to lose, except maybe a headache or two ;)

Lesson from my motorcycle accident

I lived in Scotland for several years while I growing up.  Every-other-summer we got to come back to the States to visit family and friends.  The summer I was 12 we spent a lot of time with our cousins riding dirt bikes.  We rode on the dirt road between my cousins’ home and my grandparent’s home; we rode along the wheat fields and to go do chores; but our favorite place to ride was on my uncle’s dirt runway because it was smooth and straight and we could pick up some speed.

Since I’m not really the adventurous type, I was usually behind one of my cousins on their bike, but eventually they made me learn how to drive.  So, late in the summer, when my brother left for a week to go to football camp, his dirt bike became mine for the week.

One afternoon, as I was cruising down the runway, enjoying the wind in my face, I suddenly realized that the runway was soon coming to an end and I was going way too fast for the bumpy ruts I was headed for.  Up until this time I hadn’t really gone super-fast while driving so I hadn’t yet learned about the danger of trying to slow down too fast.

So I fish-tailed.  And then I crashed.  And the 1255cc dirt bike landed on me, with the hot engine burning through the skin on the inside of my right leg.

My cousin got me back home where my second-degree burns were taken care of, but I remember I really wasn’t so concerned about my leg.  What had me most worried was that my brother was going to be mad because I crashed his brand new dirt bike.

That worry tortured me for several days.  (This was way before cell phones and constant communication, so my brother didn’t know about what happened until he got back from his football camp.)  I worried because he had trusted me enough to let me use his dirt bike and I didn’t take very good care of it and now it was scratched up.  I worried because I didn’t like it when he was mad at me.

Imagine my surprise the night my brother arrived home and the first thing he did was come and make sure I was OK.  He wasn’t too worried about his bike, but he was concerned about me and my bandaged leg.

So, I had spent several days worrying about something that never happened.  What a waste of time.

How much time do you spend worrying about things that haven’t happened yet?  Do you worry that your son will give up all the good things you’ve taught him?  Do you worry that he might not marry the right girl since he’s no longer associating with the Church?  Do you worry that you’ll never have your whole family together in the temple?

Sure ~ all these things might happen.  But it’s also true that they might not.  Worrying ahead of time just ensures you get to worry either way.

What could you do with the time you currently spend worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet?  I spend that time living my life and nurturing myself so I can better show up as the kind of person I want to be, especially in my relationship with my son.

If you’re ready to stop pre-worrying but aren’t quite sure how to make the change, schedule a free mini-session and I’ll show you how.  Life is certainly better with less worry.

Are you a worrywart?

On the first night of Stake YWs camp I found a little box on my bunk with ear plugs inside, along with a note telling me these were so the snoring of one of my fellow YW leaders wouldn’t keep me awake.  I laughed and didn’t think I would need them but kept them handy… just in case ;)

Indeed, I never did need to use those ear plugs.  I still have them in my bathroom drawer and when I see them it reminds me of my friend and her kind soul.  But those ear plugs also remind me not to spend too much time worrying ahead of time.

My friend spent a lot of time worrying she was going to keep the rest of us awake with her snoring.  She commented on it throughout the day, tried to stay awake until the rest of us were sleep, and even almost didn’t come sleep in our room because she was so concerned she would keep us from a good night’s sleep.  In the end, though, her snoring wasn’t a problem for anyone in the room.

Do you ever spend time “worrying ahead of time”?  Worrying about things that have yet to happen?  Worrying about things that “might” happen?  All this does is ensure you get to worry ~ even if the thing you’re worried about never even happens.

What would happen if you didn’t pre-worry?  How would your life be different?  What could you do with that time instead?