In this day-and-age, where there’s an abundance of
information and a seemingly shortage on attention spans, the advice seems to be
“shorter is better.” But just for today,
just for this blog, I’m going to throw caution to the wind so I can tell you
about my story (Part 2 ~ my next blog ~ will be why I work with Latter-Day Saint women
whose sons didn’t serve a mission; be sure to check it out tomorrow!)
My husband and I were foster parents for a while. As that adventure came to an end I knew I
still wanted to add value to the world, to do something meaningful, something
that would truly make a difference. I
felt “the call” to become a life coach so I did my research, decided which path
to take, and signed up for The Life Coach School training.
There was a few months between the time I signed up and the
actual training. I had planned to use
that time to prepare (there were books to read, podcasts to listen to, etc.)
but life got in the way and I arrived in California feeling behind but I also
arrived with a surety that I was embarking on a life-changing endeavor. Of course, I thought the lives that would be
changed were those of my future clients.
Little did I know what awaited me.
Throughout our intensive, 6-day training we were taught the
tools of our trade and also spent a lot of time coaching others and being
coached. One of the foundational parts,
what The Life Coach School teaches, is the importance of becoming aware of what
it is we’re thinking. This might seem a
little strange. It did to me at
first. Especially as someone who is much
more of a thinker than a feeler, I thought I had a pretty good grasp of what
was going on in my head. But it turns
out there was a lot more going on up there than I realized.
Over the next few days I began to notice a pattern in my
unconscious thoughts, and on the final day it culminated into this realization
~ I truly believed that I was never enough.
I wasn’t enough as a wife, a mother, a daughter, or a sister. I wasn’t enough as a mother-in-law, friend,
or neighbor. I wasn’t enough in my
church calling or in the roles I played or positions I held in the
community. I truly believed (albeit,
unconsciously) that I was never enough.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I let this sink in, this
belief I had carried with me for so long, that no matter how hard I tried, my
best would never be enough. And this
belief wasn’t coming from someone else, it was all me. Sure, other people may think it about me ~
that’s really neither here nor there.
But the fact that I thought it about myself ~ that’s where the pain came
from.
Up to this point I may not have recognized this firmly
entrenched belief I carried with me but now I was aware, and now I had a choice
to make: keep believing it, or not. I chose not.
Instead, I now know
that I am enough. It took me a while to
get there, to really believe it, but I do and my life is so different now
because I show up differently in all my relationships, in all my
responsibilities, in all my interactions.
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