Your brain ~ more powerful than you think

Our brains are so powerful.

Recently I heard someone say something like, “I decided years ago that I would look good in every picture, and I have ever since.”

I generally hate having my picture taken ~ or rather, I don’t like seeing myself in pictures.  However, after hearing the above comment I decided to see if believing I look good in every picture taken of me would change what I saw.  This time of year ~ with the beginning of summer and family get-togethers ~ has given me ample opportunity to test it out.  This is what I’ve discovered…

It is true.

Since changing my mindset about myself in pictures I have enjoyed the multitude of photos taken at family celebrations, a women’s church activity (including video of me learning some dance steps), and a hike with my hubby.  I don’t weigh less in these pictures than when I originally heard I could believe I look good in every picture.  Nothing has changed… except for the way I think about myself in pictures.

My brain is powerful.  Your brain is powerful.

So, what would happen if you chose to think something different about your current situation with your teenage son?  Assuming you’ve done everything you can to change his current choices, to alter the path he is on, to make things be different… but nothing has changed ~ what have you got to lose by experimenting with some other thoughts about your son, something different than “This shouldn’t be happening” or “I’m such a failure as a mom”?  Is it possible that…

This is his journey and you can love him and pray for him through all the ups-and-downs.

He’s learning and we all learn by doing.

Nobody could be his Mom better than you.

You are enough.

Often our brains are on automatic pilot, and we all have our favorite go-to thoughts.  But because our minds are so powerful we *can* redirect them if our current thoughts aren’t helping us be who we really want to be in this situation.

Pick a useful thought from above (or one you’ve thought of yourself) and start practicing it several times a day.  What changes for you?  How is your day different by spending a few minutes thinking “Nobody could be his mom better than me” or “This is his journey and I can love him and pray for him through it all”?

I’d love to hear about your experience.  Comment below or email me at kelly@findpeaceinparenting.com

Beyond the headline, Part 1

In this day-and-age, where there’s an abundance of information and a seemingly shortage on attention spans, the advice seems to be “shorter is better.”  But just for today, just for this blog, I’m going to throw caution to the wind so I can tell you about my story (Part 2 ~ my next blog ~ will be why I work with Latter-Day Saint women whose sons didn’t serve a mission; be sure to check it out tomorrow!)

My husband and I were foster parents for a while.  As that adventure came to an end I knew I still wanted to add value to the world, to do something meaningful, something that would truly make a difference.  I felt “the call” to become a life coach so I did my research, decided which path to take, and signed up for The Life Coach School training.

There was a few months between the time I signed up and the actual training.  I had planned to use that time to prepare (there were books to read, podcasts to listen to, etc.) but life got in the way and I arrived in California feeling behind but I also arrived with a surety that I was embarking on a life-changing endeavor.  Of course, I thought the lives that would be changed were those of my future clients.  Little did I know what awaited me.

Throughout our intensive, 6-day training we were taught the tools of our trade and also spent a lot of time coaching others and being coached.  One of the foundational parts, what The Life Coach School teaches, is the importance of becoming aware of what it is we’re thinking.  This might seem a little strange.  It did to me at first.  Especially as someone who is much more of a thinker than a feeler, I thought I had a pretty good grasp of what was going on in my head.  But it turns out there was a lot more going on up there than I realized.

Over the next few days I began to notice a pattern in my unconscious thoughts, and on the final day it culminated into this realization ~ I truly believed that I was never enough.  I wasn’t enough as a wife, a mother, a daughter, or a sister.  I wasn’t enough as a mother-in-law, friend, or neighbor.  I wasn’t enough in my church calling or in the roles I played or positions I held in the community.  I truly believed (albeit, unconsciously) that I was never enough.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I let this sink in, this belief I had carried with me for so long, that no matter how hard I tried, my best would never be enough.  And this belief wasn’t coming from someone else, it was all me.  Sure, other people may think it about me ~ that’s really neither here nor there.  But the fact that I thought it about myself ~ that’s where the pain came from.

Up to this point I may not have recognized this firmly entrenched belief I carried with me but now I was aware, and now I had a choice to make:  keep believing it, or not.  I chose not.

Instead, I now know that I am enough.  It took me a while to get there, to really believe it, but I do and my life is so different now because I show up differently in all my relationships, in all my responsibilities, in all my interactions.

This is why I do what I do, why I became a life coach ~ to help other people become aware of thoughts and beliefs that are holding them back from living the life they really want to live, no matter their situation.  This new way of thinking and showing up in the world is a gift I gave myself and I plan to spread it far and wide for many, many years!