Thoughts on Feelings from a non-feeler ;)

I’m not an overtly emotional person, definitely not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, and I’m really good at working hard and getting things done no matter what is going on.  BUT, this does not mean I don’t get angry when things go wrong, or feel sad when my loved ones are hurting, or get excited when someone I know has accomplished something amazing.  Just because you might not see it doesn’t mean I don’t feel joy and heartache and confusion.

But really ~ I don’t know that I so much “feel” joy and heartache and confusion, but rather think about them.  For some reason, I’ve spent most of my life avoiding feelings.  Honestly, feelings kind of scare me and, well, have always seemed a bit useless.  So, imagine my surprise when I read these words:  “How we feel determines what we do and what we don’t do.”  (Self Coaching 101 by Brooke Castillo, 71)  Since I was embarking on wanting to learn how to really feel something, I thought this might be worth checking out.

This is what I learned:  there’s a difference between feeling a feeling and acting out a feeling (and it turns out it’s the “acting out a feeling” that I’ve always avoided).  A feeling is just a vibration you feel in your body and you can feel it just sitting in a chair, or while you’re folding clothes, or when you’re driving down the road.

Even though I’m still very much a thinker, learning to notice and acknowledge my feelings ~ good and bad ~ is making for a much fuller life.  And what I’ve found is that feelings even play a role in my life whether I realize it or not (do you know how many times I’ve neglected reaching out to a stranger because I was afraid I would say the wrong thing?!?).

I can show you that a feeling is simply a vibration ~ and therefore, nothing to avoid.  If you’d like me to take you through an exercise ~ no strings attached ~ just email kelly@findpeaceinparenting.com and tell me you’re interested in the “Feeling” exercise (or put your email in a comment below and I’ll contact you!).