“It’s all my fault.”
“If I was a better mom my son wouldn’t be struggling right
now.”
As valid or real as these statements can seem, especially when
it feels like everything is going wrong ~ they really aren’t helpful.
After spending decades beating myself up, believing I was
the cause of all of my family’s problems, I told a friend recently that in many
ways the last year has been one of the best of my life even though if I
looked back at the specific things that have happened it’s actually been one of
the hardest years of my life.
It surprised even me when I said it has been one of the best
years of my life. Be really ~ how could this even be possible when so many things went “wrong”?
The reason this has been one of the best years is because after
way too long of beating myself up for being an imperfect mom, I decided to
stop. And I did.
I feel lighter just thinking about the difference between
the old me and the new me.
I feel more true to myself than I ever have in my life.
I even feel like I’m truly the best mom for each one of my
boys.
How would your experience in your life be different if you
stopped beating yourself up? Would there
be more curiosity and less judgment?
Would there be more acceptance and less denial? Would you be able to see that your family is
just as it’s supposed to be right now and feel OK about it?
Beating yourself up can seem, in an odd way, so natural and
even comfortable. But just because it’s
a habit doesn’t mean it’s a good one. In
reality, the only thing it really accomplishes is keeping the real you from
showing up.
It’s time. Time to
take the gloves off. Time to stop the
insanity. Time to live your best life.
