How full is your bucket?

Imagine you move to an alternate planet.  Upon arrival, you are given the responsibility of always ensuring everyone’s cup is full of water at the beginning of each day.  Without a full cup of water each day, your fellow plant-people will evaporate into the atmosphere.  You have a bucket to use to deliver the water to each cup, but if the water level of your bucket gets below 25% full, cement blocks encompass your feet and slow your progress to fulfill your stewardship.  How hard would you work to keep your bucket full knowing that the very existence of your fellow plant-people depends on your work?

Back to planet earth.

We are the mothers of wonderful teens to whom we’ve taught correct principles and now they’re governing themselves.  We want to show up for this next phase of parenting in the best way possible, but honestly, we’re exhausted.  Our buckets are bone dry.  BUT we want to begin re-filling our buckets, even if we’re not sure how.

Maybe you need to take a long bath.  Maybe you need an extra hour of sleep each night.  Maybe you need a haircut.  Maybe you want to get your creative juices flowing.  Maybe you want to put a puzzle together.  Maybe you want to catch up with an old friend.  Maybe you need to get outside and let the sun hit your face.  Maybe you want to dance to your favorite song.

While there’s not just one RIGHT way to fill your bucket, remember ~ once you really start taking care of yourself, you have so much more to give to those you love.  What would fill your bucket?

Thoughts on Feelings from a non-feeler ;)

I’m not an overtly emotional person, definitely not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, and I’m really good at working hard and getting things done no matter what is going on.  BUT, this does not mean I don’t get angry when things go wrong, or feel sad when my loved ones are hurting, or get excited when someone I know has accomplished something amazing.  Just because you might not see it doesn’t mean I don’t feel joy and heartache and confusion.

But really ~ I don’t know that I so much “feel” joy and heartache and confusion, but rather think about them.  For some reason, I’ve spent most of my life avoiding feelings.  Honestly, feelings kind of scare me and, well, have always seemed a bit useless.  So, imagine my surprise when I read these words:  “How we feel determines what we do and what we don’t do.”  (Self Coaching 101 by Brooke Castillo, 71)  Since I was embarking on wanting to learn how to really feel something, I thought this might be worth checking out.

This is what I learned:  there’s a difference between feeling a feeling and acting out a feeling (and it turns out it’s the “acting out a feeling” that I’ve always avoided).  A feeling is just a vibration you feel in your body and you can feel it just sitting in a chair, or while you’re folding clothes, or when you’re driving down the road.

Even though I’m still very much a thinker, learning to notice and acknowledge my feelings ~ good and bad ~ is making for a much fuller life.  And what I’ve found is that feelings even play a role in my life whether I realize it or not (do you know how many times I’ve neglected reaching out to a stranger because I was afraid I would say the wrong thing?!?).

I can show you that a feeling is simply a vibration ~ and therefore, nothing to avoid.  If you’d like me to take you through an exercise ~ no strings attached ~ just email kelly@findpeaceinparenting.com and tell me you’re interested in the “Feeling” exercise (or put your email in a comment below and I’ll contact you!).