The afternoon my son first told me he wasn’t going to serve
a mission I definitely had lots of thoughts swirling around my head about his
testimony, his eternal welfare, and what other choices this decision would lead
to. But honestly, what concerned me most
was maintaining a close relationship with him.
I had heard about ~ and even seen with my own eyes ~ how some parents
virtually disown their children for “straying off the path” and how some kids
believe (whether it’s true or not) they can’t do anything right in their
parent’s eyes and how that becomes a wedge between them. I knew the former wouldn’t be an issue, but I
was concerned about the latter. And I was determined not to let it happen.
In the ensuing days, weeks, and months ~ with the goal of making
my relationship with my son even better ~ I purposely spent time figuring out
how to stay connected to him and then I acted.
I stayed interested in the things that mattered to him, made sure to be
available as he came-and-went, took time to listen, supported him in his
activities, and still taught him correct principles.
Of course, none of this was anything extraordinary, but
concentrating on what I wanted (a close relationship with my son) rather than
dwelling on the “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve’ s,” has made all the
difference. And 4½ years later, we are closer and better connected than ever!
